One of the things I discuss a lot with my therapist is commitment. It’s not that I’m a commitment-phobe — oh no! it’s just the opposite. I’m a commitment-aholic. I have this deep-seated, unconscious sense that every decision I make commits me to following that path forever. I’m not entirely sure where this came from, but it’s there and I’m working on it. Recently, reading The Renaissance Soul helped me come to terms with my diverse interests and that everything isn’t for the long haul.
So in the interest of truthiness, I’m going to share a recent change of directions.
How I started making Patterned
The idea and momentum for Patterned came out of a class I took on getting started making products: 30×500 by Amy Hoy. Amy Hoy is an amazing tech-goddess with two Software-as-a-Service products (time tracker and customer support) and a deep-seated hatred for the ridiculousness that is venture-capital start-ups. She is also pragmatic about starting your own business and lays out a plan for successful baby steps.
A big focus of the class is being realistic about making a product solo and looking at the groups you are a part of and know well for product ideas. (Heartmade Mayi talks about this a bit too.) So I started making a product for developers …
But here’s the thing: I don’t actually like the developer community that much. I hang out with (dude) developers all day (and sometimes at night). They are awesome. I love them. But online, developers get … bitchy and judgemental and the idea of creating sometime for them gave me a bit of sinking feeling. I forged ahead anyway though — I chalked the feeling up to fear and insecurity and all that good (crappy?) stuff. I started working on an e-book.
Then, one day, after my umpteenth mini-meltdown about how I just don’t feel like I can write an e-book, I sheepishly told my husband about my idea for Patterned. He was like, “What are you doing? That’s an awesome idea. Why are you making yourself miserable doing this other thing you don’t want to do?”
But, guys, I committed. I had to keep going. I had to listen to my mentor and follow the class. Right??
Starting over … Rebecca stylie
I decided to start over. I had this idea, but would it make sense and be smart? I re-read all the lessons from the class. I re-did all the worksheets. I re-read blogs. Then I emailed the class’s email list and told them about my change in direction.
Do you know what Amy said?
Good for me for persevering. Good for me for “educating my gut” and then listening to it.
Is this path a little bit harder? Yes. Is creating an e-book easier than creating online software? Yes. Do I sometimes feel like an imposter in the handmade world? Yes.
But, you know, what? I’m happy with the hard-work. I love reading the creative biz blogs. I get excited and stay up late working on blog posts and the Patterned interface and other marketing bombs.
It reminds me of one of the rules for Gretchen Rubin during The Happiness Project: Be Gretchen. I’m happy, because I’m being Rebecca.
That’s my Truthy Tuesday nugget: Changing your mind if it’s want you want or need is always the right decision. Be You.